Amethyst In April

Trying to Comprehend

2009-03-26T00:24:00.003-04:00

Why must things be so complicated? Seriously, why cant my life just ever fall into a perfectly peaceful place. Ive become so confused lately, its like everything has decided to jumble up on me. *Sigh* I guess this is the part where I pull myself together and try to straighten out my life. But my mind is saying "Again?". I think I am just going to relax and not worry about it this time. Even though my life is such a mess, so much messier than ever. And even though Im just itching away to solve every tiny problem that arises. No, I must stay still, and let the world run its natural course and solve itself.
I feel like chewing my head off, simply because of the fact that I know its physically impossible and may take me the rest of my life to accomplish. Maybe even longer. Anything at this point to distract myself from.... myself.

I just realized you have no idea what my problems are. Oh dear.
I suppose I could give you the basic rundown of all of the situations. I suppose.
But its late, and I am very tired. And I really dont feel like it.
Im making excuses, I know, but Ill tell all later. Just not now.
Toodles.

So hard to find

2009-03-23T21:48:00.002-04:00

I never realized how much true friends mean. Especially when your life is in so much turmoil. They keep you grounded. Well, they are supposed to anyways. Mine just always seem to make my life more complicated. And that is no easy feat. My life is confusing enough already. Im just looking for someone to tell me that Im not crazy. That crazy, anyways. Somebody who will always be there for me and stuff. Is that too hard to ask? I guess so. But I will not quit! Ill find someone. Gosh, I sound desperate. Eww. Thats not good. At all. So thats when I leave to think about my situation even more. Farewell.

Since forever Ago.

2009-03-21T22:07:00.003-04:00

Oh gosh, It has been so long since I have last posted.
I have a commitment problem. I really do. Its sad actually. I need to work on that.
Anyways... I have come to realize the importance of relationships. Good relationships that is.
Bad ones are very detrimental. The power of a good relationship is very underestimated.
Its because people tend to focus on the bad ones.
If you have a good relationship, keep it please.
Those of us without them will gladly keep them for you :)

Recycle your Colleges, and your Spam.

2009-02-23T18:27:00.005-05:00

Today was nice and calm-ish. As calm of a day as I could possibly have anyway, which in reality, isn't very calm. I got about a whole bagful of mail from colleges, trying to get me interested in their college. I hope they know that they could conserve paper by just not sending it to me. Its so wasteful. If I go to college, I want to go to a liberal arts college and I already have a specific few in mind. Im going to recycle all of the paper that they sent me. I wouldn't feel right if I didn't. Why did they send me all of these things in the first place? I really don't remember signing up for any of these things. At least not on purpose. I would never sign up for this kind of spam, especially in snail mail form. Spam is horrible enough through email. Now I have to deal with it in a tangible form. This is the type of spam that cannot be deleted with the click of a mouse or a frying pan and a fork. It must be recycled. I have to go all the way to the recycling center and take all of this perfectly nice,glossy, and colorful paper and dump it in with all of the messy newspapers to be mulched up. It could have been used in such a better way. Maybe I could make it into a collage? Ahhh... I can see it now - I could arrange the papers into a person eating something and entitle it "Eat Your Spam". Maybe the person could be eating a college building or dorm. Hmm... I might do that. Save myself a trip to the recycling center and do something creative at the same time. Its been a while since Ive had a real project.

Finally, I have decided to actually commit to something

2009-02-21T13:30:00.001-05:00

Blogging has always interested me in ways that I could never understand. Posting personal feelings and having them read by people you know, or don't know. I like that idea. Privacy is limited, honesty is inevitable, and your inner working will soon be revealed. Its like my ideal life in a smaller, internet enabled form. It's almost perfect. I say almost because, well, nothing is perfect. Some things come awfully close, but never get the full shebang. So bear with me as I expose my deepest feelings, comment on the modern world, make new friends, probably offend some people, and then make enemies, et cetera. It's going to be a lovely ride :D